I Speaks

 I told me today that he believes he has special significance for the world and the universe. This is not surprising to me as I used to have similar feelings growing up. We scootered from 4th street down Lucille to 2nd to nieto, then up the alley between Granada and Argonne to Vista. Then from Vista to Lucille to home. 

We had also discussed the idea of oneness of now--and his time travel idea--to time travel to the time he broke the coffee pot, then completely change our lives up until this point. He asked what if I said he had already done that. 

I thought about discussing things I don't quite understand that I have been reading in Eckhart Tolle's books New Earth and Stillness Speaks. About the ego and the presence or what I think of God. And realizing we are part of God - and not to think too highly of ourselves. 

My ego worries about missing chances. I saw someone who was in charge of the music program, sat next to them, knew their name, saw they had hundreds of emails, judged them, made excuses, but did not talk to them--and. the deadline to apply to the music program is today. So there is some aspect of my ego that prevents me from acting. 

But if I am one with the universe, one with god, whatever will be will be. What is . is. There are other paths. "We don't know which way to go on this dark road." The next line makes no sense. 

Last night I ran into a student, A. A has been tutoring, I saw his flyers. He spoke of mental, spiritual, physical health issues. I did not want to be too close to him. He said he was going to an infectious disease expert. I don't want to remember these things. I gave him my number. He writes fiction novels. But there is some aspect of me that I see similar to the music section---Like I don't want to go on the same walk as I usually do because I will spot him. But I will keep going. He seems a good guy but I believe he has been indoctrinated into some ideas that have created conflict for his ego. Spiritually he says he is getting better--but it has been for five months and he dropped out of school. 

Today I was with colleagues who last week had mentioned A. Today we did a workshop on culturally sustaining pedagogy. Not things I want to remember.

I only wrote this because Isa speaks. All these other things are uninteresting to me. They are just annoyances. But I wanted to remember Isa and I's conversations. M says her needs are not being met living here because she cannot walk to an ice cream place. So instead of thinking all day about how she could walk to an ice cream place, and then not actually doing it--instead she thinks about war and school shootings and how she cannot change any of it. I and I went to some ice cream shops.